i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize