We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
