just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
