No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
They have beer where we have blood.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
