Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
