Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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