he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
