I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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