that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
try to milk me bitch
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