come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
