How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
