hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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