Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
