i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize