sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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