she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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