you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Actions speak louder than pants.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
