in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
