I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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