Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
