So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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