Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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