8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
