what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
