My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize