I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize