Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
