god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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