eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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