bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize