So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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