I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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