I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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