big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
