I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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