As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
