Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
