What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize