i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
