The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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