Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your penis caused this!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize