I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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