my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
