I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dear god my vagina.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
