I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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