Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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