thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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