Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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