butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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