ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
