Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
