A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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