Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
