I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
