I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
