Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
