No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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