will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
