So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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