i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
