i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
