need another drink. this is the easiest way
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
