If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
