So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
