Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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