I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
