no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize