I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
