Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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