You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
