i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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