exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
