oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
