shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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