return my video game
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize