does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
