would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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