Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
