Pappa wants mamma naked
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
