dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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